Over the past few weeks, I have been learning a lot about humility & so often how far I am from living this out. C.S. Lewis once said, "True humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less."
The older I get the more I realize how often I think of myself, and even more so, how often I compare myself to others and try to "one up." I've been trying to grasp at what point in my life did I begin comparing myself to others and considering myself better than them. Yes, I'm sure as a child, I compared myself to others, but I also know there was a child-like innocence. One where when I went to the homeless shelter, I truly didn't believe that I was any different than anyone in there. I had no fear of walking right up to one of them & having a conversation. Even though it was obvious to others, I honestly did not seem to notice any differences. At what age did I realize the differences? I'm still not sure, but I hate that I ever did. I hate that I see others and I judge them. I hate that I notice social classes and education levels, but more so, I hate that at some point in my life it became almost innate to think of myself as better than someone else.
As I learn about humility & the idea of thinking of yourself less, I am challenged to train my mind & heart to think differently. I know that I will have to train and then re-train, probably multiple times a day, but its something to work on for sure. Its a process and I have no doubt I'll be working on this for the rest of my life. I'm planning on posting C.S Lewis' quote by the kitchen sink so I can be reminded of it often.