Comfort & Predictability

I'm sitting in a coffee shop filling the awkward time between school and tutoring. I'd hoped to get lots of schoolwork done, knock out some lesson plans, create some quizzes, but it seems like that's not quite happening. I made one quiz... that counts for something, right?

I'm reminded of those glorious college days where my roommates and I would drive a half mile to a coffee shop (sad statement on our laziness) and snag a big table to "get work done." In reality, our studying looked a lot like coffee drinking and chatting about every detail of life (probably making a scene while other people were actually trying to do work), but every once and a while we'd get a little work done and act productive. I can remember senior year sitting at a table with some of my roommates, searching for jobs like maniacs and complaining about how hard life can be. HA! Hilarious in hindsight. We were "ready for the real world," yet scared of the unknown. 

It's funny when you stop and think about the ebb and flow of life. How we go from comfortable times where we're just bee-boppin along and life is pretty great to times where change is so common and the familiar seems distant. I feel like I was in that comfort zone during college (or at least the second half of college) and then entered the crazy, full-of-changes part of life right after. Life felt pretty unsettled after moving to a new city and only knowing a few people, not to mention that my job felt unfitting. I was lacking friends where I could truly be myself and meaningful work to fill my time. It's just as of recently that I realized I've reached that sweet part of life where life is sailing along again. 

Will and I have been married for a year and half and we're in a groove. We've been lucky that that came right away, but I can see that with a year under our belt we are learning how to love each other better and better each day. We're blessed with wonderful friends and I'm happy to have a close-knit group of people to trust in town (I've still got wonderful friends all over the state & country who love me so well, but it's nice knowing I have folks close by too). Work is challenging, yet incredibly rewarding, not to mention I have the dreamiest schedule ever. It allows me time to volunteer and mentor and gives Will & I a little flexibility while he is working. Will has found a niche job and loves what he does. As of now, film work is still flowing into Wilmington & for that, we are so incredibly thankful.

I know that there is good in both the comfortable times of life and in changes, but for now I'm enjoying this stage of life. It won't always be like this, I'm well aware so I will enjoy it before the next roller coaster ride begins. Life is ridiculously crazy, but as I've gotten older, I've learned to soak in the calm days because I know they will not always be around. Some may say predictable is boring, but I'm pretty pleased with it right now.

Forgiveness is the key to a happy marriage.

"A happy marriage is a union between two good forgivers." - Robert Quillen

This morning I am reminded of the beauty of grace and forgiveness. The gift that with each day we start fresh. His mercies are new every morning! ...How I am so thankful for this! 

I am thankful that we have an example to follow for marriage and that when I can't seem to get it together or visa versa, we have already been forgiven by our Maker. It is a sweet moment when all you want to do is be upset/angry and then you are overcome with thoughts of the Lord's grace for you. I remember that I screw up nine million times (a day probably) and He says, I love you. You are mine & you are forgiven. Mindset changed. You see, when we look at our marriage and our spouse like the Lord looks at us, we are able to forgive more easily and overlook those silly mistakes. I know I personally need a heck of a lot of forgiveness because let's be honest, I'm rude and I speak too quickly at times. 

This morning I'm reminded of how the Lord wipes our slate clean over and over again. I am realizing more and more how undeserving I am of this love and forgiveness, yet I sit here begging for more of it. Today I am thankful that I married a sinner and that perfection is not attainable. I am thankful that I am not God, but that I can look at His example of love and strive to live that way. I am learning over and over again how to forgive and be forgiven and boy does it feel good!

Marrying young.

I read a series of posts recently about marrying young written by a variety of women, some of whom married young, some single and some who married late in life. I found it interesting to read the range of opinions, thoughts and reasonings and began thinking more about it. Most would say that Will and I married young. We were 22 and 23 and based on our society today thats pretty darn young. I think the national average is more like 28 or somewhere in that range.
Last weekend we were at a wedding and the father of the bride was talking about when he got married, he said, "we got married when we were 21 and 22, so young... no one really does that these days." Will and I glanced at each other and laughed, a few of us do, but yes, most people don't.

sophomore year of college

From the start, our relationship was mature and committed (I was about to type "serious," but I really hate that term for relationships. We're definitely not serious, just committed). The first few months of dating were in the midst of some very difficult life changes for Will. I knew that I either had to be all in or just kindly let him know it wouldn't work out. I prayed for months asking the Lord to take away my feelings for Will if it wasn't meant to be. Months went by and I became more involved in his life and his family's. I was captivated by him and pretty sure that one day we would get married. 

You see, as a child, I was never one of the girls planning her wedding or envisioning getting married young. I knew I wanted to get married, but honestly I didn't put a lot of thought into it. I was more interested in the here & now. As I continued dating Will, I began to realize that we would get married and, most likely, we would be very young. I have never been more sure of a decision in my life than the one to marry Will. From early on, I was confident in him, our relationship and ultimately the Lord's plan. 

So fast-forward to senior year of college, we had lots of conversations about marriage and what it looked like. We discussed future plans and if we should move to the same city or pursue jobs in different locations. I spent a lot of time thinking of engagement and getting married young. I feared others' opinions and wondered what peers, family friends and outsiders would say about our decision. 

I remember specifically having a conversation with a good friend about how there will be many times in life where you just have to choose what looks best for your life, even if that is extremely different from the world's view. A few months after we graduated, I did just that. Will got down on one knee and I, without hesitation, said absolutely yes. You see, I believe that there are lots of routes in this life. I don't think that everyone should get married young, nor do I believe that everyone will get married. And thats the great thing about life. Our relationship is totally different from others and sometimes you just have to ignore the "wait til your 30" or "don't you want time to find yourself & be on your own?" comments and go with your heart. 

Honeymoon stage

Every time I mention something sweet that Will has done for me, most people respond with "oh you're just in the honeymoon stage, that will end." Although I fully expect an ebb and flow in life & marriage, it saddens me to think that so often people truly believe that thoughtful notes or fun dates will not continue. We understand that there will be a day when our house is full of little people and time together will be difficult, but it is our hope that we will always continue dating, if you will. 

The other day on set, they were filming a market and there was a flower stand. Will grabbed some flowers for me when the scene was over & kept them on the camera truck so that he could bring them to me that night. As he was climbing into bed late that night, I heard him say "SHOOT!" It scared me since I was only half awake; he then told me about the flowers and how he had forgotten them on the camera truck. The picture above is from the following day at work showing me the flowers. 

Just the thought made my day. I hope that as time moves forward and its been years of marriage that we will not forgot the simple things that can bring so much joy. I don't think I am being unrealistic, just trying to break away from the "norm" where some people say that all good things will end in a marriage. 

Two of our friends who have been married for three years have said that people always tell them the same thing. The wife told me that she can't wait until they've been married ten or twenty years just so she can prove that she just has a great husband, not one that is "just in the honeymoon stage."

Date night

Since most weeks Will works an average of 75 hours or so, we cherish the weekends and really just any time together. Sometimes I need motivation when the week seems long & we're missing each other. Will is great at texting me half way through the week with a fun idea for the weekend. Last week he suggested a date night to Southport on Saturday night. I was thrilled and had truly been looking forward to it all week.

Late Saturday afternoon, we headed down to Fort Fisher to catch the ferry over to Southport. We got there a little early and spent some time enjoying the sunset.

The sunset was gorgeous and made the ferry ride so fun. We hopped out of our car and stood at the front of the boat the whole time. It was a little bit chilly, but totally worth it.

We had a great dinner at The Pharmacy- my favorite part was the butternut squash bisque that quickly warmed me up.  If you've never been to Southport, you should go. Its a cute little town that seems like something out of a movie (they have actually filmed quite a few movies here). When its warmer out, its fun to pack up our bikes and spend the day exploring and admiring all the historic homes. 

Oh and I wore my new red jeans! I was pretty pumped about this Old Navy find. Might have to go back and get another fun color :)

Home is wherever I'm with you.

We have been on what seems to be the longest journey ever to buy a house. I'm sure every home owner felt the exact same way when they were looking. Its exciting, exhausting and pretty much an emotional roller coaster. We have gotten so excited and envisioned ourselves living in about a dozen different houses, only to later realize they weren't quite right.

Over Christmas, we thought we had found the right house. An offer was made, then counter-offer and so on until we reached a meeting point and they accepted our offer. Until yesterday, we were pretty sure this house was OURS & we're beyond excited to begin moving. After reviewing the inspection results and talking with a few experts in the field we slowly, to our dislike, came to realize that this house has some major structural and electrical issues that we did not know of in the beginning. We are trying so hard to make the best financial decisions to protect ourselves, our marriage and our future children; and based on that report this wouldn't be the best decision financially.

Even though my heart so desires to have a sweet home where we can entertain and host, I think I'm realizing that I have put too much emphasis on a worldly item. Will sweetly reminded me of this truth by singing one of our favorite songs- "home is wherever I'm with you." As cheesy as it sounds, the song has it right.

We are trusting in the Lord and his timing. We're singing that song & reminding ourselves that items don't bring you happiness, but rather relationships. So whether are friends are crammed into our little apartment or a more spacious home, who cares? We're just thankful for wonderful friends & family.

Home, let me come home; home is wherever I'm with you.
 (Home by Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros)

You should probably listen to this song. I promise it will bring you a little bit of joy this morning & soon you'll be singing along too.

Blessed.

During this time of Thanksgiving, I am reminded of all that we have been given & the blessings that flow so freely. I have so many things to be thankful for that it can often be easy to become numb to them. We are blessed with wonderful family that pour into us and care so deeply about us individually and our marriage; with friends who will drive miles to see us and support us in important events, with a fruitful year of work for Will and so many more things. Oh, we are so thankful!

I am once again reminded of the blessings we have & pray that we can be a blessing to others. I hope that we can bring joy, happiness & crazy love to all those we encounter. 

Will and I have always said this, but I'll say it again, we are blessed in relationships & somehow the friendships and blessings just keep flowing.

Five reasons I married you

1. You smoke a pipe and act like you're 75.

2. Your sweet heart & generosity towards everyone.

3. You have incredible work ethic. There are few people that work 80 hours a week and even fewer that have manual labor jobs. (P.S. I love this picture-- probably taken at 3:30 am on a long night shoot).

4. You'll act like a food snob with me.

5. Despite little time together, you know just the way to my heart. Thankful for our little notes & that crafty keeps yogurt covered pretzels on set.

Love this.

This adventurous marriage.

Yesterday marked one beautiful, crazy month of marriage. We thought the honeymoon was an adventure, but I guess that was just the beginning.

Sunday, Will had an emergency appendectomy. I noticed he wasn't acting himself when he hardly ate his dinner and refused birthday cake on Saturday night. He complained of a stomach ache that night and woke up feeling the same. Since I knew the symptoms from personal experience, I was confident he had an appendicitis. After much convincing, begging and several phone calls to friends for advice, I practically dragged him to the ER. Fortunately the ER was pretty deserted on Sunday morning, so they took us back quickly. Will told me not to tell anyone we were there until it had been confirmed that it was actually something serious. After the CT came back, showing an appendicitis, we called his family and his coworkers. The surgery was fast and he was back in a hospital room in no time. Sadly, they didn't come get me until AFTER the anesthesia had worn completely off. We spent the night on those lovely, comfy beds and by 4:30 am were awake and ready to go home.

He is healing quickly and already hobbling around. Yesterday, he hobbled into my office to bring me flowers for my birthday. 

You know, its funny how things work out for good. Will was supposed to be out of town for a few days, including my birthday. Even though hes in pain, we get one week of time together. Dinner together, hanging out with friends together ... this is crazy! We are loving it.

Sorry it took an appendictis to get you a break from work, but I sure am loving all this quality time.

Check out this cute outfit...

Gillian Welch song

If you are curious about the blog title, it was taken from a Gillian Welch song, "Dear Someone." Will and I danced to this at our wedding and the lyrics are special to us. Check out the song-- it has a great, folk-y sound.

I want to go all over the world
And start living free
I know that there's somebody who
Is waiting for me
I'll build a boat, steady and true
As soon as it's done
I'm going to sail along in the dreams
Of my dear someone

One little star, smiling tonight
Knows where you are
Stay, little star, steady and bright
To guide me afar
Blow, little wind, over the deep
For now I've begun
Hurry and take me straight into the arms
Of my dear someone
Hurry and take me straight into the arms
Of my dear someone