Love/Hate Relationship with Work

As I'm typing, I'm sitting down to a dinner of leftovers at an empty table. In an attempt to distract myself, I opened my laptop looking for a way to entertain myself so I can avoid the silence around me. I already miss cooking dinner together nightly and sharing stories over a delicious meal. Today is day one of Will being back at work & I know I sound super dramatic but I'm already missing him & the routines we had started to form.

I have a love/hate relationship with his work. We are so so SO thankful for film work here in Wilmington, and with the chance that this might change very soon, I know I should be even more thankful. And we are. We rejoice and let out a sigh of relief when he gets a call for the next job, but we also dread the start day a little. I know that it will mean early morning call times, long hours for him & long days for me, meals eaten alone and, at times, a feeling of loneliness. At the same time, I know that it will give purpose to his days & opportunities to move up in his field, and money (which is always nice!). 

It's good to look at the joys and the positives during these times, giving thanks that he even has a job. During this season of work for him, I am going to work on maintaining a good attitude and a gentle heart, reminding myself constantly that we cannot control the number of hours he works. I will train my mind over and over again to seek joy in the thick of life. And when I feel those grudges forming & bitter thoughts coming to the surface, I will swallow them & give thanks. 

A hint of spring

The past two days have been beautiful here & I am soaking up every bit of sun & fresh air that I can. Will & I have refused to stay inside & are constantly going to sit on the front steps, going for a walk or heading to the park. I know we're far from real spring but these little hints or bursts of warmer weather are good for the soul.

Monday evening we went for a bike ride, although since the sun was setting it was actually a bit colder than we expected. It was so refreshing and the brisk air did me some good after a long day at work. Yesterday, we ate lunch outside on the deck and then walked to get coffee. We drank our coffee in the park by our neighborhood and let the sun hit our faces. I am a sucker for warm weather and ever since I was little my mom would tease me about spring fever (truly summer fever, but hey, one step at a time). In school, I always struggled second semester, I guess due to lack of focus and the anticipation for summer break. Even to this day, I feel that. The excitement of warmer weather and things in bloom, spring break & the summer break ahead, neighbors out in their yards and children riding bikes through the neighborhood.

Last night, Will and I sat on the front steps enjoying the last bit of sun. Before we knew it, all of our neighbors were outside chatting and talking about the weather. The kids on our street were running around chasing each other & the adults stood around catching up. It's funny what a little sunshine and sixty degree weather can do!

Forgiveness is the key to a happy marriage.

"A happy marriage is a union between two good forgivers." - Robert Quillen

This morning I am reminded of the beauty of grace and forgiveness. The gift that with each day we start fresh. His mercies are new every morning! ...How I am so thankful for this! 

I am thankful that we have an example to follow for marriage and that when I can't seem to get it together or visa versa, we have already been forgiven by our Maker. It is a sweet moment when all you want to do is be upset/angry and then you are overcome with thoughts of the Lord's grace for you. I remember that I screw up nine million times (a day probably) and He says, I love you. You are mine & you are forgiven. Mindset changed. You see, when we look at our marriage and our spouse like the Lord looks at us, we are able to forgive more easily and overlook those silly mistakes. I know I personally need a heck of a lot of forgiveness because let's be honest, I'm rude and I speak too quickly at times. 

This morning I'm reminded of how the Lord wipes our slate clean over and over again. I am realizing more and more how undeserving I am of this love and forgiveness, yet I sit here begging for more of it. Today I am thankful that I married a sinner and that perfection is not attainable. I am thankful that I am not God, but that I can look at His example of love and strive to live that way. I am learning over and over again how to forgive and be forgiven and boy does it feel good!

Hiking

This past weekend we went for a hike at Carolina Beach State Park. We camped there recently and explored a few of the trails, but it was dark and we turned around pretty quickly. It was fun to explore during the day & the weather was perfect. I've never really been to a state park where there's a beach too ... my kind of park for sure! 

Here's what I have to say about this man. He loves me so well & has more patience with me than he should. I am constantly amazed at how selflessly he loves and serves everyone.

When we were camping here a few weekends ago, we went on a night hike in search of "sugar loaf," which is a historic landmark. The trails aren't marked very well and you can imagine that in the dark it was pretty difficult. We eventually turned back, never finding sugar loaf. Will & I decided we would find it this go around. We eventually found it (hiked a little farther than we planned) and here it is ...

haha, not quite what I was expecting, sort of just looks like sand & some trees...

We had such a blast hiking and just soaking in a crisp, fall Sunday afternoon. I love the feeling in the fall/winter when your face is still really cold but the rest of your body is warm. We're already thinking of where we can go hiking next weekend. Get out & enjoy the weather ... some fresh air can do us all some good.

Also, I've set a goal that by next summer (we're planning a big trip for next summer), I want to be better at using a camera. Will let me use his Canon 5D Mark II on our hike & gave me some lessons. I'm really enjoying learning something new & hope to get much better. These shots are what I took yesterday!

Marrying young.

I read a series of posts recently about marrying young written by a variety of women, some of whom married young, some single and some who married late in life. I found it interesting to read the range of opinions, thoughts and reasonings and began thinking more about it. Most would say that Will and I married young. We were 22 and 23 and based on our society today thats pretty darn young. I think the national average is more like 28 or somewhere in that range.
Last weekend we were at a wedding and the father of the bride was talking about when he got married, he said, "we got married when we were 21 and 22, so young... no one really does that these days." Will and I glanced at each other and laughed, a few of us do, but yes, most people don't.

sophomore year of college

From the start, our relationship was mature and committed (I was about to type "serious," but I really hate that term for relationships. We're definitely not serious, just committed). The first few months of dating were in the midst of some very difficult life changes for Will. I knew that I either had to be all in or just kindly let him know it wouldn't work out. I prayed for months asking the Lord to take away my feelings for Will if it wasn't meant to be. Months went by and I became more involved in his life and his family's. I was captivated by him and pretty sure that one day we would get married. 

You see, as a child, I was never one of the girls planning her wedding or envisioning getting married young. I knew I wanted to get married, but honestly I didn't put a lot of thought into it. I was more interested in the here & now. As I continued dating Will, I began to realize that we would get married and, most likely, we would be very young. I have never been more sure of a decision in my life than the one to marry Will. From early on, I was confident in him, our relationship and ultimately the Lord's plan. 

So fast-forward to senior year of college, we had lots of conversations about marriage and what it looked like. We discussed future plans and if we should move to the same city or pursue jobs in different locations. I spent a lot of time thinking of engagement and getting married young. I feared others' opinions and wondered what peers, family friends and outsiders would say about our decision. 

I remember specifically having a conversation with a good friend about how there will be many times in life where you just have to choose what looks best for your life, even if that is extremely different from the world's view. A few months after we graduated, I did just that. Will got down on one knee and I, without hesitation, said absolutely yes. You see, I believe that there are lots of routes in this life. I don't think that everyone should get married young, nor do I believe that everyone will get married. And thats the great thing about life. Our relationship is totally different from others and sometimes you just have to ignore the "wait til your 30" or "don't you want time to find yourself & be on your own?" comments and go with your heart. 

Slowing down

Often, in this crazy world we live in, we forget to slow down. We move from one thing to the next, rushing, rushing, rushing. Many times, we are just trying to "make it through the day." And lets be honest, we've all been there. Some days thats just what happens, but I am really learning about how to {try} to slow down and just be. Be still, be restful, be a friend, be a conversationalist or a listener, be in the moment.

I don't want to miss out on the wonderful joys of life because I'm rushing from one errand to another. Will and I have put a lot of emphasis on slowing down on days that allow for that. When he is off, we try to ease into the mornings or stay up a little later to sit on the porch and chat. Its nice to slow down. to listen. or sit quietly. to just be. 

Last night we did just that. It was one of those days where we'd been rushing from the moment we woke up (because we snoozed 10 times ... you've been there, I know it). The day was packed and we were just trying to make it through Monday. I left school around 8pm after an event to find a flurry of texts from Will saying he was off and picking up takeout. I hurried home to find a large Indochine (one of my favorite restaurants) bag on the table.

We set up a mini table outside on the porch and enjoyed a wonderful dinner just the two of us. After such a crazy day, it was exactly what we both needed. Time to slow down, catch up and just sit quietly and enjoy the fall breeze. I know that there will be many days ahead where we're rushing from one thing to the next, but my hope is that we will continue to find moments, however small they may be, to slow down and enjoy all that is around us.

Bike rides.

Theres always a point in this film business life where we both get frustrated. Frustrated at the lack of time together, frustrated with the long hours and lack of sleep (for Will) and frustrated that all we know about each other's week are minimal details and the most we've talked is ten minutes in the middle of the night. [Lets just say THANK goodness for texting. We give each other frequent updates via texts.] But anyway, the point is we reach a breaking point where we need a little time together and he needs time to rest. 

We hit that breaking point last week. Will had worked six days for past few weeks and only had a day off in between. We hadn't had a weekend off together in a while. One thing you'll quickly learn about the film business is the frequent changes in schedule. They were told they would have Monday & Tuesday off last week, but on Sunday they changed the plans & were told they only get Monday off. I was bummed. Since I teach on Mondays, we had planned to spend Tuesday together- get brunch, relax, etc. Its so hard not to get angry in those moments, but I reminded myself that we have no control over it so we must move on. 

He did get Monday off and after work, I hurried home so we could make the most of the afternoon and evening. We loaded our bikes up and headed to one of our favorite neighborhoods in Wilmington- one that is shaded by huge oak trees and lined with character-filled houses. We spent a few hours riding through this area and then stopped for some tea at a coffee shop. It was just what we needed! We finished off the night with dinner at one of our favorite Baja Mexican restaurants and ate way too many chips & queso with our fish tacos. It was wonderful! 

Sometimes (or in our case, a LOT of times) plans change, but I'm constantly reminding myself to let it roll off my back and savor the time that we do get. 

My best friend.

Just like every Monday, I'm reliving the moments from the weekend and missing my sweet husband. Mondays are always hard getting back into the swing of things for the week & adjusting to the long hours ahead of us. We're hoping for another "short" (less than 70 hr) week.

This weekend we had no plans and spent a lot of time just enjoying each other's company. We ate some good food & spent time with our wonderful friends, but mostly we just lounged around the apartment and tried to stay out of the rain.

Once again, I was reminded that I think we have something rare. Will is my husband and will be forever, but he is also my best friend.

We are both very laid-back and tend to have a more go-with-the-flow attitude towards life.  People always talk about getting annoyed with their spouse or friend if they spend too much time together, but honestly that rarely happens between us (maybe its because time together is often rare haha). We so enjoy each other's company and love just being together. Clearly, we don't spend all of our time together because that would be incredibly unhealthy, but we do enjoy our quality time. Never have I met a man (other than my dad) that is more loyal, loving and tender-hearted than this man of mine. I am so thankful to have him as my best friend; to share good days and bad days and everything in between with him.

The photo above is Will at one of our favorite places: La Tapatia. An authentic Mexican restaurant down the road from us. When we go we are literally the only English-speaking people in the place, but the food is incredible. Will always makes me say our blessing in Spanish and then usually our meals are filled with learning new Spanish vocabulary. So thankful that this man appreciates my love for the latino culture and all my other quirks.

Yikes, this was so sappy; Sorry, thats just what happens when I start talking about my family.

Honeymoon stage

Every time I mention something sweet that Will has done for me, most people respond with "oh you're just in the honeymoon stage, that will end." Although I fully expect an ebb and flow in life & marriage, it saddens me to think that so often people truly believe that thoughtful notes or fun dates will not continue. We understand that there will be a day when our house is full of little people and time together will be difficult, but it is our hope that we will always continue dating, if you will. 

The other day on set, they were filming a market and there was a flower stand. Will grabbed some flowers for me when the scene was over & kept them on the camera truck so that he could bring them to me that night. As he was climbing into bed late that night, I heard him say "SHOOT!" It scared me since I was only half awake; he then told me about the flowers and how he had forgotten them on the camera truck. The picture above is from the following day at work showing me the flowers. 

Just the thought made my day. I hope that as time moves forward and its been years of marriage that we will not forgot the simple things that can bring so much joy. I don't think I am being unrealistic, just trying to break away from the "norm" where some people say that all good things will end in a marriage. 

Two of our friends who have been married for three years have said that people always tell them the same thing. The wife told me that she can't wait until they've been married ten or twenty years just so she can prove that she just has a great husband, not one that is "just in the honeymoon stage."

Date night

Since most weeks Will works an average of 75 hours or so, we cherish the weekends and really just any time together. Sometimes I need motivation when the week seems long & we're missing each other. Will is great at texting me half way through the week with a fun idea for the weekend. Last week he suggested a date night to Southport on Saturday night. I was thrilled and had truly been looking forward to it all week.

Late Saturday afternoon, we headed down to Fort Fisher to catch the ferry over to Southport. We got there a little early and spent some time enjoying the sunset.

The sunset was gorgeous and made the ferry ride so fun. We hopped out of our car and stood at the front of the boat the whole time. It was a little bit chilly, but totally worth it.

We had a great dinner at The Pharmacy- my favorite part was the butternut squash bisque that quickly warmed me up.  If you've never been to Southport, you should go. Its a cute little town that seems like something out of a movie (they have actually filmed quite a few movies here). When its warmer out, its fun to pack up our bikes and spend the day exploring and admiring all the historic homes. 

Oh and I wore my new red jeans! I was pretty pumped about this Old Navy find. Might have to go back and get another fun color :)

Blessed.

During this time of Thanksgiving, I am reminded of all that we have been given & the blessings that flow so freely. I have so many things to be thankful for that it can often be easy to become numb to them. We are blessed with wonderful family that pour into us and care so deeply about us individually and our marriage; with friends who will drive miles to see us and support us in important events, with a fruitful year of work for Will and so many more things. Oh, we are so thankful!

I am once again reminded of the blessings we have & pray that we can be a blessing to others. I hope that we can bring joy, happiness & crazy love to all those we encounter. 

Will and I have always said this, but I'll say it again, we are blessed in relationships & somehow the friendships and blessings just keep flowing.

Five reasons I married you

1. You smoke a pipe and act like you're 75.

2. Your sweet heart & generosity towards everyone.

3. You have incredible work ethic. There are few people that work 80 hours a week and even fewer that have manual labor jobs. (P.S. I love this picture-- probably taken at 3:30 am on a long night shoot).

4. You'll act like a food snob with me.

5. Despite little time together, you know just the way to my heart. Thankful for our little notes & that crafty keeps yogurt covered pretzels on set.

Remind me of this down the road...

In an effort to remember this quote from Will, I'm adding it here. We were talking about pets the other day and Will brought up once again how he desperately wants a dog once we get a house. He later said something about our two dogs. I said "two!!" Three kids, two dogs and a cat? Thats crazy. He then said, and I quote, "I'll take the two dogs and all the kids and you can have time with your cat. I love chaos." I will not forget this quote, William. Years down the road when the kids are driving you crazy, I will remind you of this wonderful quote. Almost as good as when I slipped up and said that you are "usually right."

Love this.