Love/Hate Relationship with Work

As I'm typing, I'm sitting down to a dinner of leftovers at an empty table. In an attempt to distract myself, I opened my laptop looking for a way to entertain myself so I can avoid the silence around me. I already miss cooking dinner together nightly and sharing stories over a delicious meal. Today is day one of Will being back at work & I know I sound super dramatic but I'm already missing him & the routines we had started to form.

I have a love/hate relationship with his work. We are so so SO thankful for film work here in Wilmington, and with the chance that this might change very soon, I know I should be even more thankful. And we are. We rejoice and let out a sigh of relief when he gets a call for the next job, but we also dread the start day a little. I know that it will mean early morning call times, long hours for him & long days for me, meals eaten alone and, at times, a feeling of loneliness. At the same time, I know that it will give purpose to his days & opportunities to move up in his field, and money (which is always nice!). 

It's good to look at the joys and the positives during these times, giving thanks that he even has a job. During this season of work for him, I am going to work on maintaining a good attitude and a gentle heart, reminding myself constantly that we cannot control the number of hours he works. I will train my mind over and over again to seek joy in the thick of life. And when I feel those grudges forming & bitter thoughts coming to the surface, I will swallow them & give thanks. 

Ragged.

Remember how a week ago I wrote about those dreamy four days off of school? Well, real life has hit me hard this week. I am feeling a little ragged and worn down. I'm day dreaming of those slow mornings where we woke up late and didn't start thinking about plans until about 10 AM. My days have been crazy and crammed full this week, as if we're making up for the lack of productivity last week. Sheesh. I wasn't quite ready for this week. 

I'm spoiling myself with a hot tea from Starbucks and plugging along. 

I've been hit with some truth from one of the books I'm reading (Boundaries) and remembering why I need to say no to some things, even good things. As I've gotten older, I've realized that I am not so good at juggling a million different activities. I can do a few things well and I should really just stick to those. I'm not sure why I agree to more things and then give half of my best because I don't have time for any more. You'd think we'd learn, yet we so often don't and continue to overcommit to things. I made a comment recently that I'd thought I'd gotten better at saying no ... ha! what a joke. 

The weekend is near, friends. Let's push on!

Let's talk about work.

Recently I was talking to a good friend & mentor about hard work. Since moving to Wilmington, I have noticed that this town very much has a beach mentality. Its a laid-back place & people tend to spend lots of time relaxing & hanging out with friends. Obviously, this mentality meshes well with my personality, but I'm learning some things about that. Rest is important, no doubt, & we take weekends seriously when it comes to relaxing & enjoying time together as well as with friends. But you know what else is important? Work. Yep, I said it. Working hard is important & we were made to do it. 

Sometimes, I get in this self-pity rut where I look at Instagram & Facebook & see some of my friends posting beach pictures etc & it makes me jealous that I'm stuck in an office & they are relaxing on the beach. I often brainstorm ways to find a job where walking on the beach & playing in the ocean is part of your job (let me know if you find one.. I'm in). But, the truth is, we were made to work AND play hard. Since working in pediatrics, I have done a lot of observing of children these days & parenting styles. One thing that I have noticed is that parents have become weak & tend to coddle their kids more. We have started to cultivate this idea of entitlement. Children (and adults) today feel entitled to things. Even more so, many feel entitled to things & expect them without any hard work. 

Call me old school, but lets get back to the old days where both men, woman & children worked hard. I want our children to grow up knowing & appreciating hard work. Of course I want them to play & enjoy life & we absolutely will; but the value of hard work is dwindling these days. Lets bring back old values & remind each other that we are all called to work hard. I don't want to live a lazy life (think of all the things you'd be missing out on!). So here's to years of getting our hands dirty, getting sweaty and working hard!

Five reasons I married you

1. You smoke a pipe and act like you're 75.

2. Your sweet heart & generosity towards everyone.

3. You have incredible work ethic. There are few people that work 80 hours a week and even fewer that have manual labor jobs. (P.S. I love this picture-- probably taken at 3:30 am on a long night shoot).

4. You'll act like a food snob with me.

5. Despite little time together, you know just the way to my heart. Thankful for our little notes & that crafty keeps yogurt covered pretzels on set.