As I'm typing, I'm sitting down to a dinner of leftovers at an empty table. In an attempt to distract myself, I opened my laptop looking for a way to entertain myself so I can avoid the silence around me. I already miss cooking dinner together nightly and sharing stories over a delicious meal. Today is day one of Will being back at work & I know I sound super dramatic but I'm already missing him & the routines we had started to form.
I have a love/hate relationship with his work. We are so so SO thankful for film work here in Wilmington, and with the chance that this might change very soon, I know I should be even more thankful. And we are. We rejoice and let out a sigh of relief when he gets a call for the next job, but we also dread the start day a little. I know that it will mean early morning call times, long hours for him & long days for me, meals eaten alone and, at times, a feeling of loneliness. At the same time, I know that it will give purpose to his days & opportunities to move up in his field, and money (which is always nice!).
It's good to look at the joys and the positives during these times, giving thanks that he even has a job. During this season of work for him, I am going to work on maintaining a good attitude and a gentle heart, reminding myself constantly that we cannot control the number of hours he works. I will train my mind over and over again to seek joy in the thick of life. And when I feel those grudges forming & bitter thoughts coming to the surface, I will swallow them & give thanks.