Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Marrying young.

I read a series of posts recently about marrying young written by a variety of women, some of whom married young, some single and some who married late in life. I found it interesting to read the range of opinions, thoughts and reasonings and began thinking more about it. Most would say that Will and I married young. We were 22 and 23 and based on our society today thats pretty darn young. I think the national average is more like 28 or somewhere in that range.
Last weekend we were at a wedding and the father of the bride was talking about when he got married, he said, "we got married when we were 21 and 22, so young... no one really does that these days." Will and I glanced at each other and laughed, a few of us do, but yes, most people don't.

sophomore year of college

From the start, our relationship was mature and committed (I was about to type "serious," but I really hate that term for relationships. We're definitely not serious, just committed). The first few months of dating were in the midst of some very difficult life changes for Will. I knew that I either had to be all in or just kindly let him know it wouldn't work out. I prayed for months asking the Lord to take away my feelings for Will if it wasn't meant to be. Months went by and I became more involved in his life and his family's. I was captivated by him and pretty sure that one day we would get married. 

You see, as a child, I was never one of the girls planning her wedding or envisioning getting married young. I knew I wanted to get married, but honestly I didn't put a lot of thought into it. I was more interested in the here & now. As I continued dating Will, I began to realize that we would get married and, most likely, we would be very young. I have never been more sure of a decision in my life than the one to marry Will. From early on, I was confident in him, our relationship and ultimately the Lord's plan. 

So fast-forward to senior year of college, we had lots of conversations about marriage and what it looked like. We discussed future plans and if we should move to the same city or pursue jobs in different locations. I spent a lot of time thinking of engagement and getting married young. I feared others' opinions and wondered what peers, family friends and outsiders would say about our decision. 

I remember specifically having a conversation with a good friend about how there will be many times in life where you just have to choose what looks best for your life, even if that is extremely different from the world's view. A few months after we graduated, I did just that. Will got down on one knee and I, without hesitation, said absolutely yes. You see, I believe that there are lots of routes in this life. I don't think that everyone should get married young, nor do I believe that everyone will get married. And thats the great thing about life. Our relationship is totally different from others and sometimes you just have to ignore the "wait til your 30" or "don't you want time to find yourself & be on your own?" comments and go with your heart. 

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